The Glory and Pitfalls of Writing

I must make a comment on my last blog entitled "Who's your Daddy Now???" That you may find has been deleted, so if you have not already read it, you won't.

One of the things that I love so much about writing, is that I can write, then think about it, then change things, then write some more. Then, when everything is said and done, I have come across the way I intended.

However, as I have noticed with my own blog, I write and edit and then post it. Then when I come back later, I find what I had written, that I thought was so brilliant, sends a completely different message than I intended (or maybe just needs a lot more editing).

This is the case with "Who's Your Daddy Now???" wrong message, needs editing. It is a story that I would like to write, but I think it will take more time and effort than a blog requires.

But, if you did happen to read it, I will summarize the ending:

Assistant Manager gave me his number to call him if I found someone to cover his shift. When he gave me his number he said, "You know you can call that any time." And then he laughed as though he were joking, but I knew he wasn't, and that made me feel all tingly inside.

I couldn't find anyone, so I called him to tell him as much. I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I called him, confessions of love, fireworks, uncontrollable giggling. . . anyway, it was an ordinary conversation, straight to the point, and then it was over. But I left his number in my phone, just in case.

Can I tell you how that number tempted me day in and day out? Every morning before work and every evening after work I thought about texting him, and what I would say. I always had something to ask him or tell him, but I was trying to resist.

Then one night, when I was watching a movie with Roommate K, I was agonizing over a stressful date earlier that day. I hated dating!!!! I hated everything!!!! I was stressed out to the point of tears, and I tried talking out my stress with Roommate K, but no matter what I did I still wanted to text Assistant Manager and ask him how he was doing. He had been sick for a couple of days.

So during the movie I picked up my cell phone, and easy as technology, I texted him. He answered right back. I continued writing him throughout the movie, and he would always answer back, and thus my stress melted away, and by the end of the movie I was smiling.

Over the course of several days, this war I had been fighting myself, to resist him forever, had given way to peace as we continued talking and texting each other all night and all day, then seeing each other at work and pretending like everything was the same as it had always been. That became the difficult part.

Roommate K told me one day, "When I think about how unhappy you were when you were trying not to like him, and then how happy you are since you've let yourself like him, I am glad you two are together."

Well, the "together" part didn't happen for a while. For the moment our relationship consisted of texting and talking, and only seeing each other on a professional level.

We didn't get together until one special day that neither of us had planned.