Making a Mistake . . . Part Two

So Roommate K was pregnant. It was positive, it was real, and it would change everything.

"What are you going to do?" Was the inevitable question.

"I don't know." Was the usual response.

"Are you going to marry Rex?"

"I don't know if I can."

But marrying Rex would make things so much easier. Roommate K was barely four weeks along. They could marry quickly, she had always planned on eloping anyway, and pass it off as a honeymoon baby. No one would have to know. She wouldn't even have to tell her parents. She would never have to show up to church on Sunday with a pregnant belly and no ring on her finger. She would not have to give the child up for adoption, or be a single mother.

"I am 31," Roommate K said later as we sat in the living room with furrowed brows. "I am not a teenager who just screwed up, and I didn't even have a boyfriend for seven years until Rex came along," at this point she put her head in her hands. "I'm just afraid if I don't marry him I will never get married."

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints a.k.a. the Mormons, in situations like this we are counciled to marry the father of the baby, if at all possible; if not, then give the baby up for adoption. However, at this moment I thought only of how sad it would be to be tied to someone I was not in love with.

"It seems the only reasons you want to marry Rex are fear, pride, and pregnancy. Those are bad reasons to marry someone," I said wanting to help her make the right choice, but not knowing what that would be.

Roommate K nodded. She sighed, laid her head back on the chair, and closed her eyes.

Two weeks later, after Rex and Roommate K went on a two week vacation together, she came home, sat across the living room from me and said, "I can't do it. I have to break up with him. I can't drag it out any longer."

That Sunday morning, before I woke up, they sat in the living room and talked the talk.

"He was bawling, L, bawling!" Roommate K told me quietly as we got ready for church. "I have never seen a grown man cry like that. I cried too because it was hard for me to hurt him, but now he wants to talk again after church. He says he has more questions."

"Oh." I was feeling sick. I did not know why. You would think I was the one pregnant, or being broken up with.

After church I took a nap (I am constantly sleep deprived; I blame The BF for that). When I woke up, I went into the kitchen to eat more cereal. I sat at the table with my bowl and spoon, and found Roommate K and Rex sitting in the backyard under the crabapple tree looking serious. He leaned forward, she had her arms crossed. I tried not looking at them as I ate, but the more I thought about it, the sadder everything seemed. My cereal lost its flavor, sitting in my mouth like sand. I wanted to cry.

Roommate K was pregnant with Rex's baby. Rex was in love with her and wanted to be a good father, unlike the father he never knew. She didn't want him to be a part of her life, yet this baby bound them together. Breaking up with him now would break his heart for the rest of his life.

I couldn't eat any more. I pushed away from the table, and went downstairs to cry my own tears.